Breaking hearts and taking names

Whenever I bump into someone from my work they inevitably exclaim how alike Rose and I look. All my friends think she’s the spitting image of me.

Whenever we bump into one of Chris’s acquaintances, it’s the reverse. “Oh my gosh, look at those eyes! She looks just like you, Chris!”

Then there was that one time we were sitting in my obstetrician’s waiting room and the receptionist blurted out, “She looks just like her Daddy!” and then the obstetrician came out and exclaimed, “Gosh, Sarah, look at her – she looks just like you!”

I get it. There are some kids that don’t look like either of their parents. Rose looks like someone put our genetic material in a beaker, swirled it around and made a little girl.

But then today Dad and I were packing CDs and books into boxes and we came across the following photo:

A 1972 version of Rose, staring back at me. Look at that mouth! Look at that cheeky smile! I keep expecting her to jump out of the photo and say, “Monday Thursday!”, “Number Eight!” or “Make Dark!” (or any of Rose’s favorite sayings).

And speaking of Rose, something magical happened the other day. Last week I was asking Rose how her day went. Every week I ask her about her friends and what she did and what she ate for lunch (her reports almost never match her carer’s reports). I said to her, “Who’s your best friend?” And she said without thinking, “Mummy!” I could’ve wept. Such a sweetheart. However, I also have to report that Rose said “I love you” for the first time and it wasn’t to Chris or I. Her grandad was sitting at the table and Rose came up to him and said, “Grandad, I love you.”

Let’s go home

Our apartment has been sold. The new owner wants to live here. We have to move within a month.

It’s sad that it’s going down like this. I know we don’t fit in here any more, but it would’ve been nice to have chosen the manner of our departure. I feel strangely sentimental when it comes to this little flat. This is where we brought our girls home from the hospital. I can’t look at the front door without thinking about Tess coming home from hospital. Chris came through the door holding Rose’s hand and in the other hand, Tess in the baby capsule. I can’t look at Rose’s room without thinking of Goodnight Moon, and the ritual that follows it. (Goodnight bookcase! Goodnight bed! Goodnight door! Goodnight toys!) I see our room and I think about the night before Tess was born. I was awake most of the night with abdominal pains, so scared. I see the study and I think of Rose shutting the doors to hide. And the hundreds of blog posts I’ve written in here. Or the running up and down in the hallway outside. I see the kitchen and I see Rose watching popcorn being made for the first time. Our first batch of scones, Rose gently placing the cheese on top of each one.

There is so much love here. Some other, unknown place will be our home. We will put our love there. But I will never forget this place.

Shopping

Me: Rose, where are you going with all those bags?

Rose: Shopping

Me: What are you going to buy?

Rose: A cheesy scroll

Me: Okay, well have a good time!

Rose: See you. See you another day!

First Day of Glasses

Life Lesson #2812: Never cross a real estate agent

I’ve had the worst eczema on my hands since Tess was born. They’re cracked, puffy, sore, itchy and stop me from doing basic things like folding laundry. Every time I wash my hands I wince. It would all be fixed with a visit to the doctor to get some more steroid cream (my old tube expired last year!) but it’s not happening. Every time I make an appointment, I have to cancel because something comes up. Tess’s doctors appointments, Rose being ill, etc. etc. If I could schedule doctors appointments for after 8pm I might have a chance.

Lately time pressure has got worse, due to our landlord deciding to sell the apartment. We found out a couple of weeks ago and we’ve been faced with some pretty grim decisions. Try to speed up our house-buying process and risk buying a place that’s unsuitable? Move into temporary rental accommodation to give us more time? Hope that our investor landlord sells to another investor landlord? Well, it’s worked out to be all of the above. We’ve amped up our house-buying search, but we haven’t had much luck so far. (The market seems to be really weird. No one’s selling, if they have a choice. But there seem be quite a few buyers out there due to low interest rates and an increase in the first home buyers grant. House prices have actually inflated.) We’ve seen a few places that would be okay, but they’re either in bad locations (on main roads) or in need of work (new roofs, kitchens, etc.) I’m not holding out a lot of hope that we’ll manage to buy before we get kicked out of here, so we’re rustling up quite a few Plan Bs. Keep you posted.

In the meantime it’s a huge hassle to clean up every Saturday for open homes. (Especially when you’re not the beneficiary of the sale!) The agent that’s selling this property is a crazy garrulous Chinese woman who has taken a real shine to us. She thinks that she’s destined to help us because she had cataracts removed a few years ago and believes it’s a connection with our Tess. She called the other evening to say that she’d been to dinner with a psychic friend who said, “You’re going to help these people buy a house!” It might all be a con, but who cares? She’s funny.

Chris’s parents are also visiting this weekend, and my Dad has arrived for a month long stay. Dad is house-sitting for some friends nearby (while they’re in Canada), and it’s going to be such a blessing. Dad will help with looking after Rose so that I can focus on Tess. Chris’s parents are here for the weekend and enjoying some time with Rose and helping out with cleaning up for open homes. Sorry I don’t have any new pictures for you!

For we are young and free

Me: Rose, we’re going somewhere special this afternoon

Rose: MacDonalds?

Me: No, more special than MacDonalds…

Rose: Train?

Me: Yes, in fact we are taking a train this afternoon. We’re going into the city for a special occasion. Mummy and Daddy are becoming Australians today.

Rose: looks blankly at me

Me: Yes, you and your sister are already Australians because you were born in Australia. But Mummy and Daddy come from New Zealand. But we decided to become Australians because this is our home now. We want to vote and have barbecues on Australia Day and complain about the poor performance of the Australian rugby team.

Rose: another blank look

Me: And we’re taking a train to the ceremony

Rose: Big smile!

From this time forward,
I pledge my loyalty to Australia and its people,
whose democratic beliefs I share,
whose rights and liberties I respect, and
whose laws I will uphold and obey.