A Catch-up with pictures

I just uploaded a few new photos and realise I’ve only mention about 0.5% of what’s been going on lately. Here’s a pictorial run-down:

We bought a new (for us) table and chairs off ebay. It’s been fantastic having a large table to eat around and prepare food on. Family meals have been so wonderful lately, and with a full house tomorrow it’ll be great to be able to have a sit-down meal. The sad thing is that when Chris went around to pick the table up the owner’s daughter said, “NO! Why is that man taking our table?” Apparently they were moving to Melbourne, rather that being hard up. This is a picture of our first meal around the new table.

Granny Jo has arrived for a 10-day stay over Christmas. She’s been especially enjoying seeing how much Tess has grown. Such a big little girl these days! And she’s no longer wearing glasses. That’s because she had a check up last week at her ophthalmologist, and her eye has changed and needs a weaker prescription. She still needs the contact lens, though. The great news is that the doctor thought Tess was seeing better and that her eye was “fixing” on objects well. Hurrah!

Tess has also been sleeping really badly lately. Ever since she learned to stand up in the cot, it’s all she’s been doing. Daytime naps are not so bad. But at night time it’s sometimes taking an hour or two of going back in a laying her back down to get her to sleep. We’ve also had some atrocious nights with her waking up and not going back to sleep. We’re all doing the best we can as we get through this rough patch.

It’s also been really hot lately. And hot days call for….. nudity! (and grumpiness?)

Fortunately a cooler day (24oC) is forcasted for Christmas Day so we won’t be all swealtering with the heat of the stove being on all morning.

There’s a lot of other things to mention that I don’t have photos for, such as Andy and Charlotte’s visit with us a few weeks back. And Granny Anne’s visit last week. The kids have been enjoying all the visitors and the special attention they’ve received!

Also, Rose has been becoming more and more inventive every day. She’s starting speaking in made-up languages, and inventing all sorts of creatures. Her favourite inventions are “logidolls” and “longyongs”. Both Tess and Rose are logidolls and longyongs, and they are the only two. Also, logidolls are known for their capacity to fly around.

On our own

Rose was self-settling by the time she was 3 months old. We’d put her down for naps and she would go to sleep. She was a natural. She was so flexible, too. She would sleep in her stroller, in a portacot, in an airline basinette, in someone’s spare room during the middle of a party. She would never sleep in our bed – she was independant from the start.

Tess has been a different story. The first five days of her life she refused to sleep in the little plastic basinette in the hospital. We had to hold her all night. I came home from hospital feeling more tired than I’ve ever felt before. I couldn’t wait to get home because I thought I could take her to bed with me and we’d both get some sleep. I was right. We started trying to train her to nap in her bed soon after our New Zealand holiday. Efforts were mixed, but we made progress. Then we got the diagnosis. She had surgery, and a succession of invasive procedures. She got poked and prodded. Eye drops, speculum, contact lenses in and out. Then there was the blindness for two hours a day. She was scared and needed comfort, and we gave it to her. We started holding her until she was asleep, then gently placing her in her cot. We held her for hours. I watched her every nap time and night time, her little chest subsiding with sighs, drifting off to sleep. It was a hassle, she wouldn’t sleep at other people’s places. She would also often wake up when you put her down and have to start all over again. I wanted to scream with frustration! And on the days I was looking after her and Rose on my own it was a nightmare. I would be sitting in our room, holding Tess, hearing Rose cry out from the living room, “Mummy! Mummy! Mummy!” But that wasn’t the complete story. I also loved it. I loved cuddling my baby, feeling her safe and warm. In those moments my fears dissolved. She is safe. Nothing can hurt her.

She was never a good sleeper, but started sleeping really badly. Woke seven, eight times a night. I knew what the problem was. She was waking up after her sleep cycles expecting to still be in our arms. She wanted to be rescued. But it was time. Time for her to learn how to soothe herself. Time to be a bit more independent. I was afraid, I knew it would involve crying to some degree. I read a lot about the different approaches. We agreed we would be at the responsive end of the spectrum. We wouldn’t listen to her distress for hours. But it was time to test the waters.

Three days on and what a difference! On Wednesday night she went to sleep after 15 minutes of groaning and slept until 4.40am. Thursday night was a similar story except she slept until 6am. Last night she slept until 6.40am. I can’t tell you how much bliss it is to wake up after 7 hours of unterrupted sleep. I never thought I’d say it, but I’m so happy to be sleeping on a mattress in the living room.

The day time sleeps have been trickier. One afternoon she took an hour and a half to go to sleep. She was distressed. Chris patted her until she went to sleep. We still saw it as a victory because we didn’t get her up. But it hasn’t been all hard work, some times we’ve timed everything right and she’s napped well. I don’t mind so much. No more battles. It’s her choice whether to sleep or not.

And that, my friends, is the thing I’ve enjoyed most about the last three days: The relief from the pressure of putting her to sleep. No longer am I responsible for getting her to sleep. No longer do I anguish about why I can’t. Now it’s up to her. She’s still my baby and I’ll always be there for her. But she’s also a big and brave little girl.

It can’t get any worse…

It’s been kinda quiet around here. And by quiet, I’m referring to the blog, of course. Because if you were my girlfriend and I bumped into you on the street in the last week you’d hear something like this:

Ohmygod, the last few weeks Tess has been waking between 5 and 8 times a night, mostly resettled by putting the dummy back in, but sometimes she’s been wanting to party. And by party she’s been like “hi mum, I know it’s 3am but I’m sooooo excited to see you and I just want to squeal!” And last night she slept for a few hours, then seemed to be awake between 12.30 and 5.30, and I either got two hours sleep or I just feel like I got two hours sleep. And we tried to buy the first house we’ve seen that wasn’t a dump but we didn’t have enough money so we’re now looking at run-down two bedroom flats next to train lines under the flight path and oh my god if I have to share the bedroom with my baby one more night I’m going to crack. Waaaah Waaaah Waaaah

Firstly, who’s the frickin’ baby here? And nobody wants to hear that. So yeah, just thank yourselves for not being subjected to the narcoleptic pity party that’s been going on around here.

But rest assured, things are going to change. Soon. And  by soon, I mean tonight. Tonight we move…. into the living room. Yep. After all the guests have gone home and the hub bub has died down (I’m totally kidding here, we don’t have any guests), we’re dragging out the mattress from the spare bed in Rose’s room and we’re going to sleep in the living room. Lets hope we get more sleep. And while I’m sleeping I’ll be dreaming of a land where we all have our own rooms and all our stuff is in our own rooms.

A new milestone

Rose didn’t take a nap today. She was at childcare, and one of the carers tried to hold her until she went to sleep, but Rose wasn’t having any of it. Eventually they let her go out of the nap room and lie down on a mat for a “rest”.

Not ready for “no naps”! Not ready for “no naps”! Not ready for “no naps”! No, seriously!

But in good news, we’re headed for a long weeked away. It’s feezing cold (well, Sydney in winter is never that cold), but we’re looking forward to getting out of the city and having some quiet family time. We sure need it.

Babies are difficult and babies are cute

Tess has really been putting us through our paces lately. At night she’s been sleeping okayish. She usually wakes at around 2.30am for a feed, and again at 6am. That’s not too bad. We could start thinking about dropping the 2.30 feed once she’s eating a bit more solid food.

But during the day time it’s major work getting her to nap, and she often naps for only short periods of time. This morning she napped for 40 minutes and then I attempted to get her to back to sleep for another 50 minutes (rocking, patting, holding). I thought’d she’d gone back to sleep and started to hang some washing out. When I came back inside I could hear in bed cooing to herself. Lucky she’s so darn cute.

(Yes, leg warmers are back.)

I would so love some consistency and routine at this point. It’s really hard getting things done when she’s so unpredictable. We’re at the point where we’re ready to try putting her in bed and not intervening whatsoever, except for the fact that she’s getting her contact fitted on Monday and it’s going to be very distressing for her, and probably for a few weeks until she’s used to us poking her in the eye (the doctor thought we might even need to use a speculum to put it in for the first while. Shudder).

Rose is so in love with her sister. She gives her lots of cuddles and kisses. She often suggests to us that we give Tess a sticker (Rose gets sticker rewards for eating her meals without throwing food). Rose also likes to hand Tess toys, tickle her, and shake her hand.

(Oh dear, you can totally see that I cut Rose’s hair myself!)

Time to wake up

It’s funny how when you’re sleep deprived and then you suddenly get quite a good night’s sleep you wake up more tired than ever. I feel spacey when I’m really tired. I’ve been feeling spacey a lot. When I’m tired it means I’m not so tired. Hmm, now what was I saying?

Yes, back to sleeping. Tess isn’t very good at it, like many 4-month babies. But last night it wasn’t so bad – she only woke three times! At 12.30 for a bottle with daddy, at 4.30 for a breastfeed, and at 6.30am for a quick resettle until proper wake up time 7am. It was a great feeling to actually wake up this morning, as opposed to being awake most of the night and then just succumbing to it being time to get out of bed. So a good night’s sleep means the baby sleeps well during the day? Not so much. She only slept for 20 minutes this morning and when I got her home for her long afternoon nap she would only sleep another 40 minutes. It then took me an hour of dummy-putting-in, rocking, and finally swaying in my arms to get her to resettle. (The sleep specialists all say she should be sleeping for longer during the day and I should resettle her if she wakes after only one sleep cycle.)

Meanwhile Rose? She slept for 2 3/4 hours this afternoon! And she sleeps for 12 hours at night uninterrupted. It’s incredible that my 2 year old sleeps more than my 4-month old.

Fortunately we have a home visit from a Tresillian nurse next week. (For the uninitiated, Tresillian is a free government-run service that gives Australian families support and advice on routines, settling babies, etc.) I can’t imagine what she could possibly suggest that we haven’t already tried, but if it helps it’ll be great!

Turn around

Tessie managed to turn around all by herself today, while she was in the play mat. For a week or so I’ve noticed that she’s gotten really good at arching her back and looking around. This morning she used that movement to propel herself around the mat. It was sorta like Angus Young’s famous guitar move. Without the guitar. Or the school boy outfit. Whatever.

Look how pleased she was with herself:

And another breakthrough today. She slept for 1 hr 40 mins in her crib this morning! It did involve me going in there around the 40 minute mark to resettle her (a bit of patting and quite a bit of putting the dummy back in), but it was a big step in the right direction. While we were in NZ she would only sleep in our arms and only take short naps. Now if only we can get rid of the dummy….

Woah!

Tess slept for 11 hours last night! We actually woke her up at 6am because we’re going down to the beachhouse today and I wanted to make sure she had a feed early so that I could feed her again just before we got in the car. She might’ve slept for 12! I attribute her long sleep to utter exhaustion from yesterday’s fun. The hour before she fell asleep she was so tired all she could do was throw her head back and yell.

The week in review

It has been a busy week, but I don’t have much to show for it. Tess had a major change in sleep patterns and has stopped taking long sleeps during the day. I’ve been trying to follow the best advice about settling her into longer sleeps by putting her to bed swaddled but awake, to help her learn how to settle herself. But a lot of the time she wakes up after 20 minutes. Uh-oh! I called Tresillian (a parent hotline) on Thursday and they told me to resettle her in the cot by rubbing her back or patting her, but it basically means spending all day trying to get Tess to sleep, which is exhausting. Also, the chores mount up. Because of the lack of sleep Tess gets more and more tired as the day progresses and by evening she takes a good hour of rocking to get her to sleep. What was I saying in my last post about babyhood being awesome? In some ways I can’t WAIT for the first year to be over – at least then she’ll need less sleep

Rose has had a good week. At school they went on a field trip to the centre veggie patch. Rose was apparently not that interested in the veggies, but she did like the mint that Ritsuko rubbed under her nose. They also got some big boxes out and Rose loved playing in her box cubbyhouse all day. She continues to settle in well – apparently she didn’t need any patting to go to sleep this week. Chris says that when he drops her off it’s usually just in time for morning tea. It’s great timing because she sits down to a crumpet or cereal and milk just as Chris is saying goodbye, and she’s so distracted  by the delicious food in front of her that she always just waves and says “bye bye” matter-of-factly.

Also, she’s saying more and more words every day. Lately she enjoys showing you a found object and saying, “Look!” She also now can ask more specific things, such as milk or water, which is very helpful. However, when she gets frustrated or overwhelmed words seem to fail her. The other day she was trying to drink the pool water and I kept stopping her. She was shouting “No!” and hitting the side of the pool or any object she could see. Eventually I worked it out and said, “Are you thirsty”?, to which she replied “YES!!!!!!” Honestly, with the fog of tiredness and parenthood it sometimes takes me so long to get to the most basic conclusions!

What toddlers dream about

Last night Chris tiptoed into Rose’s room to check on her before we went to bed. Rose was sleeping fitfully, and he heard her mutter, “Out there!”